Blog challenge day 4: how to rock karaoke

One of the questions I get asked fairly often is "what's a good karaoke song?"

There are a few schools of thought about how to do karaoke right. You've got your people who take it very seriously and want to legitimately show off their singing pipes to a crowd of strangers. These folks usually will have a signature song (or songs) and may be regulars at a particular karaoke joint. They may even be committed enough to attend karaoke events on weeknights.

Then you have your folks who only do karaoke when they're super drunk. This group typically gets up on stage and stumbles through a partially coherent performance, butchering a classic song in the process.

The school of though I subscribe to falls somewhere in the middle. I don't think you should approach karaoke as a serious attempt to impress people with your singing--that's the musical equivalent of someone who shows up to a casual sports event for adults and takes things way too seriously, sucking out all the fun for everyone else. Don't be the super competitive guy. If you love to sing and need an outlet for doing that, join a band and make some money at it. Play gigs. Don't show up to amateur night at the batting cage if you've played in the major leagues. This doesn't mean you get left out of all the karaoke fun just because you have a great voice. If you're in this category, my advice is to  choose one of the following options:

1. Pick a song you know the crowd will enjoy and put your heart and soul into it. Rock it.
2. Pick a funny song and ham it up
3. Do a group performance--your confidence and ability will bolster your friends and make it a more memorable experience for everyone involved.

Karaoke is most fun when a wide variety of people get up and sing. If you get one of the super serious singers, it can make other folks self conscious and not want to get on stage. This is less fun for everyone,  regardless of whether they are singing or just watching.

The most important decision you make at a karaoke night is song choice. If you're singing at an audition, you can choose a song that you personally connect with and showcases your talent. These same rules do not apply at karaoke. Karaoke is by definition a group activity - and everyone's there to have a good time, whether you know them or not.

Here are my criteria for a good karaoke song:

-Must have a fairly quick tempo (the more dance-y it is, the better)

-Lyrics/tone of the song should be upbeat, nostalgic, or cathartic. Nothing too sad or depressing. Depression and alcohol don't mix well.

-Shorter songs are better. It is hard to keep momentum going through a long song, plus you will probably piss off the guy running the karaoke machine

-must be a very well-known song*

*The one caveat to this rule is when you are doing karaoke in a private room with only your friends. Then you can be a little more creative with your song choices.

Do not, under any circumstances ever, choose a song that no one else in the room is going to know.  

Karaoke is not the place to show off your obscure musical tastes. It might seem like a good idea to surprise people with an unusual song choice, but please trust me when I say that you'll regret it once you're actually on the stage. You might be thinking, "yeah, well I only care if I have a good time. Everyone else doesn't matter." I may not be able to change your mind, but I firmly believe you should not go to a karaoke night if you have this attitude. You are going to kill the energy in the room and make everyone else's night worse. Still don't care? Think about a time when some other drunk asshole ruined your night and how you felt. Do you want to be that other guy?

If you're doing karaoke in an open bar environment, you need to stick with up-tempo, happy songs. "Smells like teen spirit" is a great song but it does not belong at karaoke night. Do not sing "Where Is My Mind" (The Pixies). I don't care how good you sound singing "Unbreak My Heart." Don't sing it at karaoke.

Aside from picking a good song, the other things to focus on are:

1. Feeling confident about lyrics - either pick a song you know like the back of your hand or pay close attention to the teleprompter. Don't be surprised if you freeze up and forget the words to a song you've heard 1,000 times (this has happened to me).

2. Commit to the song. Don't just stand there awkwardly like a preschooler singing in a school performance. Get dramatic, move around, entertain people. Bonus points if you know any dance moves that go along with your song. Singing with a group is good because then you have others to interact with on stage and there's less individual pressure on you.

Your ability to commit to and perform a song is more important at karaoke than your vocal precision. It's ok if you can't hit the high notes in Journey songs - don't take yourself too seriously and give it your best shot! This is your moment, seize it.

Ok, so by now you're probably wondering: what are some specific songs I recommend for karaoke?

This list is off the top of my head and I may add to it later. If nothing below resonates with you, let me know what you're looking for and I'll try to think of some more. If you find yourself at a karaoke night and are panicking because you can't think of a good song to sing, phone a friend (me).

Good Karaoke Songs

Baby Got Back (Sir Mix-a-Lot) - Don't attempt this unless you know all the words. You MUST ham it up with this song, don't be a milquetoast

The Humpty Dance (Digital Underground)

Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song (Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper) - this song is really fun to sing but it's probably pitched higher than you remember, so be ready for that

Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)

Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond)

Hey Ya (Outkast)

Footloose (Kenny Loggins)

Gold Digger (Kanye West)

Hot In Herre (Nelly)

This Is How We Do It (Montell Jordan)

Bottoms Up (Trey Songz ft. Nicki Minaj)

Roar (Katy Perry)

Toxic (Britney Spears)

Hit Me Baby One More Time (Britney Spears)

Everybody (Backstreet's Back; The Backstreet Boys) - you kinda have to do this one with a group since there are so many different parts. Do not attempt by yourself unless you're an experienced professional.

Love Shack (B-52s) 

Waterfalls (TLC) - this song is slower but you can get away with it because it's such a classic. You gotta bring the sass for it to work, though.

No Scrubs (TLC)

Big Poppa (Notorious B.I.G.) - another slower one you can get away with because of its classic status. The rhythm is key on this one, so I suggest practicing it at home beforehand.

Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z)

Me Myself and I (De La Soul) - this song is perfect if you want to rap but aren't super comfortable with your sense of rhythm. The flow is very simple and moderately paced. As a plus, you can bring a friend with you to act as hype man!

Get Low (Li'l Jon

Pony (Genuwine) - if you have vocal ability and want to show it off without ruining the mood, this would be a good song choice. Few songs have more mood than this one. Range is best for an alto or tenor.

Low (Flo Rida)

Lose Control, Gossip, Work It, Get Ur Freak On (Missy Elliott) - These require somewhat advanced rapping ability but they are great songs. Only attempt if you know what you're doing.

I Wish (Skee-lo)

What's Your Fantasy (Ludacris)

Let Me Blow Ya Mind (Eve & Gwen Stefani)

Poison (Bell Biv DeVoe) - One of the greatest karaoke/party songs ever. Practice this one at home.

Kiss (Prince)

Message in a Bottle (Police)

Crazy in Love (Beyonce/Jay-Z)

Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics) - possibly my favorite dance song OF ALL TIME

Doo Wop (Lauryn Hill)

Come Sail Away (Styx)

Hold On (Wilson Phillips)

Africa (Toto)

Just the Two of Us (Grover Washington Jr. & Bill Withers)

Shout (The Temptations)

Under Pressure (Queen)

Rich Girl (Hall & Oates)

I Want You To Want Me (Cheap Trick)

Don't Speak (No Doubt) - the slowest rock song that is ok for karaoke. Extra points for catharsis

Old Time Rock & Roll (Bob Seger)

867-5309 (Tommy Tutone)

All the Small Things (Blink-182)

Tik Tok (Ke$ha)

Fat Bottomed Girls (Queen)

The Power of Love (Huey Lewis & the News)

You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi)

Gangsta's Paradise (Coolio) - another rap song with a pretty easy flow/rhythm, plus if you grew up in the 90s you probably have it memorized already

500 Miles (The Proclaimers)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar)

My Own Worst Enemy (Lit)

Danger Zone (Kenny Loggins)

Basket Case (Green Day)

Pour Some Sugar on Me (Def Leppard) - good choice for a karaoke beginner since the tempo is nice and relaxed and the rhythm of the words is pretty simple

You Make My Dreams (Hall & Oates)

Changes (Tupac)

Treasure (Bruno Mars)

I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Whitney Houston)

Billie Jean (Michael Jackson)

The Way You Make Me Feel (Michael Jackson)

Beat It (Michael Jackson) - I know the dance to this one so please bring me along if you plan to sing it.

PYT (Michael Jackson)

Shoop (Salt-n-Pepa)

Whatta Man (Salt-n-Pepa)

Like a Prayer (Madonna)

Gettin Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith)

Super Bass (Nicki Minaj)

This Love (Maroon 5)

Moves Like Jagger (Maroon 5)

A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton)

Say My Name (Destiny's Child)

Radioactive (Imagine Dragons)

Forgot About Dre (Dr. Dre feat. Eminem) 

Tiny Dancer (Elton John)

Bennie and the Jets (Elton John)

The Joker (Steve Miller Band)

Any Way You Want It (Journey)

Hot Blooded (Foreigner)

Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top)

It Wasn't Me (Shaggy)

Hotline Bling (Drake)

What's Up (4 Non Blondes)

Shake It Off (Taylor Swift)

Blank Space (Taylor Swift)

Party in the USA (Miley Cyrus)

Emotions (Mariah Carey) - if you can pull off a Mariah song, this is one of her better party tunes

Gin and Juice (Snoop Dogg & Dat Nigga Daz)

Lean On Me (Bill Withers) - slower tempo, requires a lot of heart and soul

Proud Mary (Tina Turner)

What's Love Got To Do With It? (Tina Turner)

Lovefool (The Cardigans)

All I Want for Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey) - Practice the pauses beforehand so you can nail the intro. The counts have to be spot-on.

California Love (Tupac)

Stand By Me (Ben E. King)

Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey) - pure catharsis

Larger Than Life (Backstreet Boys)

Wonderwall (Oasis) - this one is almost too sad but I think you could get away with it if you sing loud and get the crowd's support.

It's Raining Men (The Weather Girls) - I highly recommend singing this song at karaoke or anywhere else, really. It's a great song.

The Way (Fastball)

Lola (The Kinks) - another song that's worth practicing beforehand, because the rhythm of the words is a little tricky. You also have to over-enunciate to make it sound right.

Tubthumping (Chumbawamba) - one of the weirdest and best songs from the 90s.

Wannabe (Spice Girls)

You're So Vain (Carly Simon)

September (Earth, Wind & Fire)

U Can't Touch This (MC Hammer)

Just a Girl (No Doubt)

I Love Rock and Roll (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts)

Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)

I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

Ironic (Alanis Morissette)

Back That Azz Up (Juvenile)



Good luck on your future karaoke endeavors!

Rachel's no-nonsense 2016 gift guide

The holiday season is upon us! The chief merry-maker and gift giver in our family, my mom, has always advocated her belief that the best gifts are fun and whimsical things that the receiver would never buy for themself. She truly lives by that principle and goes to great lengths to give thoughtful and creative gifts for both Christmas and birthdays. I tend to be more practical and utilitarian in my gift-giving, but you'll find both useful and frivolous things below. This is less of a classic gift guide and more of a list of things I believe are truly worth your money, based on personal experience:

A Borgasets wallet - These wallets are almost too good to be true. I originally found Borgasets (I have this one) while looking for a thin, light wallet that's good for traveling. I was blown away by the quality of it when my package came in the mail. I've used that wallet exclusively for a couple years now and it doesn't show any wear at all. When it eventually does wear out someday, I plan on replacing it with another Borgasets wallet.

Classic Ray-ban Wayfarer sunglasses. I have owned probably close to 100 pairs of sunglasses over the years. I used to buy cheap ones that would inevitably break after a few weeks before I finally got smart and invested in some Ray-bans. That move was totally worth it--my pairs (I have 2) still look as good as new after a few years of wearing and dropping them.

Why I recommend Wayfarers in particular: I find this style much more comfortable than aviators, and the classic shape looks good on pretty much everyone.

These sunglasses will never go out of style. You can buy cheaper pairs that look like them, but the cheap ones aren't as sturdy--believe me, I have owned every possible version of these over the years and haven't found anything that measures up to the real deal. 

The most comfortable flip flops in the world - I really don't enjoy wearing flip flops but have accepted the fact that they are sometimes necessary. I bought this pair before visiting Hawaii and was really pleased with how comfortable and durable they are. There's nothing worse than being out for a full day and having your shoe break on you. Luckily you don't have to worry about that with Sanuk. I will only buy this brand from now on. Great for flip flop fans and foes (aka me) alike.

a rock salt lamp - I can't remember where I originally got mine (it may have been a gift from my mom) but I do know that everyone who's been to any of my apartments over the years has asked about it. Yes, it's really a rock of salt. I've given these as gifts a couple of times--most notably to my friend Lauren at her wedding shower. She immediately got it out of the box and plugged it in so we could all marvel at its mystical glow.

A Melodica - it's a piano that you play with your mouth and it costs $22. Need I say more?

the tingler - another item I've had laying around my apartment for the past few years. Usually folks are skeptical when they first see it, but after they use it (it's a head massager) they are reduced to a puddle of endorphins. Just trust me, you need this in your life.

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die - I have spent so many hours poring over this book. If I were stranded on a desert island and could only have one book, it'd probably be this one. It encompasses all of film history and has helped me stumble on a lot of great movies I wouldn't have watched otherwise. I also stumbled on some movies I didn't enjoy, but I don't regret watching any of them. You will probably have some quibbles with what's included in the book (and what isn't). I view it as a list of the most important movies in terms of style and influence--it won't necessarily have your personal favorite movie in it, but it covers the movies that influenced the directors of the movies we all know and love.

The New Best Recipe - one of the most useful gifts I have ever received. My mom gave this to me  the year I moved into my first apartment. I've bought other cookbooks since then, but this is the only one I actually pull off the shelf and use. The editors of Cooks Illustrated tried each recipe dozens of ways to determine the best one for each dish. The book has really thorough descriptions that are great for someone who's not a whiz in the kitchen (me). I consider this the Bible of cooking. I can't recommend it highly enough, especially as a gift to someone who's in a transition phase like I was when I received my copy. Thanks mom!

a high-quality dutch oven - While I'm on the topic of kitchen stuff, I'll let you in on a secret. You don't need to splurge on Le Creuset pots if you want really nice cast-iron cookware. I know they are really great and have a fancy French name that is fun to say, but you can now get yourself the same pot for a fraction of the price. The brand you want is called Tramontina and you can buy it at Walmart, of all places. I got my Tramontina after a tip from my mom--she read an article in a women's magazine where they tested a bunch of dutch ovens and the Tramontina pot, shockingly, beat out all the others--even Le Creuset!!!! (That's a big deal) I use my dutch oven whenever I cook soup or chili. It's one of those items that makes you feel like you're really an adult, plus it looks nice in your kitchen.

Tommy John underwear - for the man in your life. I got these for Eric after reading online about how great they are. A bit pricy, but they really hold up. Eric is known for ripping the seat out of his underwear and/or pants in the past, so....it's saying a lot that these underwear are still around after a couple of years.

a nice beard balm and beard brush - two other Eric-approved items. If you go back and forth between being clean-shaven and bearded, you probably experience an annoying itchy phase while your beard is growing. The balm helps you get through that. The brush is really just for your own enjoyment. Eric likes to brush his beard before going out on the town and as a meditative habit while watching sporting events on TV.

Uniqlo heattech tights - for the lady (or tights-wearing man) in your life. These are the holy grail of tights. Similar to my journey with sunglasses, I've owned a bazillion pairs of tights over the year and my quest to find the best ones has finally come to an end. I now have three pairs of these tights but last year I only had one pair and I wore them all winter. They're still going strong. These tights are part of Uniqlo's heattech line--they aren't as warm as a real pair of pants would be, but they do feel a bit warmer than regular tights. Perfect for winter.

DHC sunscreen - this definitely falls in the utilitarian category because sunscreen is not a romantic gift at all. I've been using this product for 10 years so I feel obligated to tell you how great it is. I wear this on my face every day. It's totally sheer once it soaks into your skin and won't leave you looking greasy like a lot of other sunscreens do. I've tried a few other sunscreens designed specifically for the face and this one has worked the best for me (I've got super sensitive skin). I wish it were cheaper, but the good news is a small bottle lasts a surprisingly long time. Everything by the DHC brand is great, so you should check out their other stuff as well.

a succulent garden kit - I made a couple succulent gardens for myself last year and can proudly say they're still going strong. This is an activity-based gift because the receiver has to put it all together, but they get these cute little hanging gardens at the end! I call that a win. You can find kits in lots of different sizes and styles.

a funny t-shirt - my dad is one of those people who has developed a personal uniform. When he's not in his work clothes, he wears a t-shirt and cargo pants year-round. I've found a lot of great T-shirts for him on Threadless. Their selection is great and they often have sales around holidays when you can get them super cheap. As long as Threadless is around, I'll be able to keep my dad's rotation full of witty t-shirts.

Art - I'm a big fan of giving art as a gift and I really believe that hanging stuff on your walls makes your house feel more like a home. You can find cool, inexpensive stuff on allposters.com and etsy or you can give photo prints of you and your family! I made some photo books from my instagram pictures this year for $15 a pop and I was able to do the whole thing on my phone. Super easy and the books turned out great.

a Southwest gift card - we got a Southwest gift card from Eric's parents a few years ago and it was super easy to redeem. I already loved Southwest because their rewards program is easy to use and they don't charge you for checked bags!

an Audible gift certificate - I've become obsessed with Audible in the past year. I now listen to audiobooks when I'm working out, driving to and from work, or walking the dogs. I still read books the old-fashioned way, but I have found a few titles that I think are best experienced in audio form, such as Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt and Trevor Noah's new book Born a Crime. I have heard really great things about Jim Dale's narration of the Harry Potter series but haven't listened to it yet.

Tickets to a show - most people attend fewer events than they would like to. It's one of those things we say we'll do when we "have time for it." I'm here to convince you to stop waiting for life to feel less busy and just commit to some events. Get out your calendar and pick some days in the future when you will do something out of the ordinary. Buy tickets. Make it happen. Eric and I have very different hobbies but one of the things we both enjoy is seeing live music, so a lot of our entertainment money goes toward that. We also try to hit some cultural events every year like the Japanese festival at the botanical garden.

Below is a list of places to check out for shows and events in St. Louis; some of them are venues that require tickets but there are also a lot of free and/or cheap events around town! And there's a lot more than what I have listed below. If you really wanted to, you could fill up your calendar with free events and not pay a single dime for entertainment next year. My dad is really great at tracking this kind of stuff and he goes to a LOT of events/exhibits - I've been to some free lectures and gallery walks with him and they were very interesting! I can tell you all about George Caleb Bingham because I went to a free lecture at the art museum with my dad.

Jazz at the Bistro
The St. Louis Symphony
The Fox Theater
The Pageant
The Touhill
Missouri Botanical Garden
Third Degree Glass Factory
Saint Louis Art Museum
Missouri History Museum
The Moto Museum
The City Museum
Opera Theatre St. Louis
The Repertory Theatre of St. Louis
The Black Rep

The picture above is Postmodern Jukebox - the last concert I went to.


Gifts for your canine friends:

LED collar - so they can be seen at night (especially helpful when it gets dark early during the winter). People stop and ask me about these collars almost every time I take Buster and Rowdy for a walk. One of the best purchases I've ever made! They help keep me safer, too, because drivers can see us better. We have to cross some busy streets when walking around our neighborhood

A really durable dog leash - Kong leashes are great for bigger athletic dogs like Rowdy. As a pet owner, you learn through trial and error which items last in your household. Our two Kong leashes have outlasted a lot of other stuff that's been destroyed.

That's it for this year's gift guide. If all else fails, go to an antique mall and find some really weird stuff to give your loved ones. I have done this before and have zero regrets about it.

Merry Christmas!