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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Blog challenge day 4: how to rock karaoke

One of the questions I get asked fairly often is "what's a good karaoke song?"

There are a few schools of thought about how to do karaoke right. You've got your people who take it very seriously and want to legitimately show off their singing pipes to a crowd of strangers. These folks usually will have a signature song (or songs) and may be regulars at a particular karaoke joint. They may even be committed enough to attend karaoke events on weeknights.

Then you have your folks who only do karaoke when they're super drunk. This group typically gets up on stage and stumbles through a partially coherent performance, butchering a classic song in the process.

The school of though I subscribe to falls somewhere in the middle. I don't think you should approach karaoke as a serious attempt to impress people with your singing--that's the musical equivalent of someone who shows up to a casual sports event for adults and takes things way too seriously, sucking out all the fun for everyone else. Don't be the super competitive guy. If you love to sing and need an outlet for doing that, join a band and make some money at it. Play gigs. Don't show up to amateur night at the batting cage if you've played in the major leagues. This doesn't mean you get left out of all the karaoke fun just because you have a great voice. If you're in this category, my advice is to  choose one of the following options:

1. Pick a song you know the crowd will enjoy and put your heart and soul into it. Rock it.
2. Pick a funny song and ham it up
3. Do a group performance--your confidence and ability will bolster your friends and make it a more memorable experience for everyone involved.

Karaoke is most fun when a wide variety of people get up and sing. If you get one of the super serious singers, it can make other folks self conscious and not want to get on stage. This is less fun for everyone,  regardless of whether they are singing or just watching.

The most important decision you make at a karaoke night is song choice. If you're singing at an audition, you can choose a song that you personally connect with and showcases your talent. These same rules do not apply at karaoke. Karaoke is by definition a group activity - and everyone's there to have a good time, whether you know them or not.

Here are my criteria for a good karaoke song:

-Must have a fairly quick tempo (the more dance-y it is, the better)

-Lyrics/tone of the song should be upbeat, nostalgic, or cathartic. Nothing too sad or depressing. Depression and alcohol don't mix well.

-Shorter songs are better. It is hard to keep momentum going through a long song, plus you will probably piss off the guy running the karaoke machine

-must be a very well-known song*

*The one caveat to this rule is when you are doing karaoke in a private room with only your friends. Then you can be a little more creative with your song choices.

Do not, under any circumstances ever, choose a song that no one else in the room is going to know.  

Karaoke is not the place to show off your obscure musical tastes. It might seem like a good idea to surprise people with an unusual song choice, but please trust me when I say that you'll regret it once you're actually on the stage. You might be thinking, "yeah, well I only care if I have a good time. Everyone else doesn't matter." I may not be able to change your mind, but I firmly believe you should not go to a karaoke night if you have this attitude. You are going to kill the energy in the room and make everyone else's night worse. Still don't care? Think about a time when some other drunk asshole ruined your night and how you felt. Do you want to be that other guy?

If you're doing karaoke in an open bar environment, you need to stick with up-tempo, happy songs. "Smells like teen spirit" is a great song but it does not belong at karaoke night. Do not sing "Where Is My Mind" (The Pixies). I don't care how good you sound singing "Unbreak My Heart." Don't sing it at karaoke.

Aside from picking a good song, the other things to focus on are:

1. Feeling confident about lyrics - either pick a song you know like the back of your hand or pay close attention to the teleprompter. Don't be surprised if you freeze up and forget the words to a song you've heard 1,000 times (this has happened to me).

2. Commit to the song. Don't just stand there awkwardly like a preschooler singing in a school performance. Get dramatic, move around, entertain people. Bonus points if you know any dance moves that go along with your song. Singing with a group is good because then you have others to interact with on stage and there's less individual pressure on you.

Your ability to commit to and perform a song is more important at karaoke than your vocal precision. It's ok if you can't hit the high notes in Journey songs - don't take yourself too seriously and give it your best shot! This is your moment, seize it.

Ok, so by now you're probably wondering: what are some specific songs I recommend for karaoke?

This list is off the top of my head and I may add to it later. If nothing below resonates with you, let me know what you're looking for and I'll try to think of some more. If you find yourself at a karaoke night and are panicking because you can't think of a good song to sing, phone a friend (me).


Good Karaoke Songs


Baby Got Back (Sir Mix-a-Lot) - Don't attempt this unless you know all the words. You MUST ham it up with this song, don't be a milquetoast

The Humpty Dance (Digital Underground)

Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song (Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper) - this song is really fun to sing but it's probably pitched higher than you remember, so be ready for that

Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)

Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond)

Hey Ya (Outkast)

Footloose (Kenny Loggins)

Gold Digger (Kanye West)

Hot In Herre (Nelly)

This Is How We Do It (Montell Jordan)

Bottoms Up (Trey Songz ft. Nicki Minaj)

Roar (Katy Perry)

Toxic (Britney Spears)

Hit Me Baby One More Time (Britney Spears)

Everybody (Backstreet's Back; The Backstreet Boys) - you kinda have to do this one with a group since there are so many different parts. Do not attempt by yourself unless you're an experienced professional.

Love Shack (B-52s) 

Waterfalls (TLC) - this song is slower but you can get away with it because it's such a classic. You gotta bring the sass for it to work, though.

No Scrubs (TLC)

Big Poppa (Notorious B.I.G.) - another slower one you can get away with because of its classic status. The rhythm is key on this one, so I suggest practicing it at home beforehand.

Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z)

Me Myself and I (De La Soul) - this song is perfect if you want to rap but aren't super comfortable with your sense of rhythm. The flow is very simple and moderately paced. As a plus, you can bring a friend with you to act as hype man!

Get Low (Li'l Jon

Pony (Genuwine) - if you have vocal ability and want to show it off without ruining the mood, this would be a good song choice. Few songs have more mood than this one. Range is best for an alto or tenor.

Low (Flo Rida)

Lose Control, Gossip, Work It, Get Ur Freak On (Missy Elliott) - These require somewhat advanced rapping ability but they are great songs. Only attempt if you know what you're doing.

I Wish (Skee-lo)

What's Your Fantasy (Ludacris)

Let Me Blow Ya Mind (Eve & Gwen Stefani)

Poison (Bell Biv DeVoe) - One of the greatest karaoke/party songs ever. Practice this one at home.

Kiss (Prince)

Message in a Bottle (Police)

Crazy in Love (Beyonce/Jay-Z)

Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics) - possibly my favorite dance song OF ALL TIME

Doo Wop (Lauryn Hill)

Come Sail Away (Styx)

Hold On (Wilson Phillips)

Africa (Toto)

Just the Two of Us (Grover Washington Jr. & Bill Withers)

Shout (The Temptations)

Under Pressure (Queen)

Rich Girl (Hall & Oates)

I Want You To Want Me (Cheap Trick)

Don't Speak (No Doubt) - the slowest rock song that is ok for karaoke. Extra points for catharsis

Old Time Rock & Roll (Bob Seger)

867-5309 (Tommy Tutone)

All the Small Things (Blink-182)

Tik Tok (Ke$ha)

Fat Bottomed Girls (Queen)

The Power of Love (Huey Lewis & the News)

You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi)

Gangsta's Paradise (Coolio) - another rap song with a pretty easy flow/rhythm, plus if you grew up in the 90s you probably have it memorized already

500 Miles (The Proclaimers)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar)

My Own Worst Enemy (Lit)

Danger Zone (Kenny Loggins)

Basket Case (Green Day)

Pour Some Sugar on Me (Def Leppard) - good choice for a karaoke beginner since the tempo is nice and relaxed and the rhythm of the words is pretty simple

You Make My Dreams (Hall & Oates)

Changes (Tupac)

Treasure (Bruno Mars)

I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Whitney Houston)

Billie Jean (Michael Jackson)

The Way You Make Me Feel (Michael Jackson)

Beat It (Michael Jackson) - I know the dance to this one so please bring me along if you plan to sing it.

PYT (Michael Jackson)

Shoop (Salt-n-Pepa)

Whatta Man (Salt-n-Pepa)

Like a Prayer (Madonna)

Gettin Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith)

Super Bass (Nicki Minaj)

This Love (Maroon 5)

Moves Like Jagger (Maroon 5)

A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton)

Say My Name (Destiny's Child)

Radioactive (Imagine Dragons)

Forgot About Dre (Dr. Dre feat. Eminem) 

Tiny Dancer (Elton John)

Bennie and the Jets (Elton John)

The Joker (Steve Miller Band)

Any Way You Want It (Journey)

Hot Blooded (Foreigner)

Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top)

It Wasn't Me (Shaggy)

Hotline Bling (Drake)

What's Up (4 Non Blondes)

Shake It Off (Taylor Swift)

Blank Space (Taylor Swift)

Party in the USA (Miley Cyrus)

Emotions (Mariah Carey) - if you can pull off a Mariah song, this is one of her better party tunes

Gin and Juice (Snoop Dogg & Dat Nigga Daz)

Lean On Me (Bill Withers) - slower tempo, requires a lot of heart and soul

Proud Mary (Tina Turner)

What's Love Got To Do With It? (Tina Turner)

Lovefool (The Cardigans)

All I Want for Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey) - Practice the pauses beforehand so you can nail the intro. The counts have to be spot-on.

California Love (Tupac)

Stand By Me (Ben E. King)

Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey) - pure catharsis

Larger Than Life (Backstreet Boys)

Wonderwall (Oasis) - this one is almost too sad but I think you could get away with it if you sing loud and get the crowd's support.

It's Raining Men (The Weather Girls) - I highly recommend singing this song at karaoke or anywhere else, really. It's a great song.

The Way (Fastball)

Lola (The Kinks) - another song that's worth practicing beforehand, because the rhythm of the words is a little tricky. You also have to over-enunciate to make it sound right.

Tubthumping (Chumbawamba) - one of the weirdest and best songs from the 90s.

Wannabe (Spice Girls)

You're So Vain (Carly Simon)

September (Earth, Wind & Fire)

U Can't Touch This (MC Hammer)

Just a Girl (No Doubt)

I Love Rock and Roll (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts)

Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)

I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

Ironic (Alanis Morissette)

Back That Azz Up (Juvenile)



Good luck on your future karaoke endeavors!

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